You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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