Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
