awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
