a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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