I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
