I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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