i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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