I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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