i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize