Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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