are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im just a social blackout drinker.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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