I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
