isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
