Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

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(864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack. http://tfl.nu/rq5j

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(505): View more from New Mexico

That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.

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(505): That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club. http://tfl.nu/cpxm

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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(732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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(781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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(314): I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome. http://tfl.nu/831u

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(204): View more from Manitoba

this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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(204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb

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(614): View more from Ohio

So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

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(614): So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date... http://tfl.nu/r091

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(+61): View more from Australia

She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.

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(+61): She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level. http://tfl.nu/h0jn

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(703): View more from Virginia

I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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(703): I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin. http://tfl.nu/zjl9

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(912): View more from Georgia

Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.

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(912): Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here. http://tfl.nu/xdo1

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(503): View more from Oregon

Did I change midway through last night?

(206): View more from Washington

Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking

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(503): Did I change midway through last night? (206): Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking http://tfl.nu/rz21

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(269): View more from Michigan

I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.

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(269): I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them. http://tfl.nu/bvne

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(239): View more from Florida

And I might get them triple pierced after that

(631): View more from New York

Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors

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(239): And I might get them triple pierced after that (631): Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors http://tfl.nu/vrzy

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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(902): He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it... http://tfl.nu/at35

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(931): View more from Tennessee

In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure

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(931): In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure http://tfl.nu/hlh0

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