were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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