somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
