I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
