I swear she didn't look like that last week.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
