you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
