I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
