She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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