I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
