im having a threesome with these popsicles
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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