Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Couch. On fire.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
