Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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