i just wanna soil my oats bro
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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