Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He? As in you personified your dick?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
