your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
