My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize