I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
