your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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