She's JV to your varsity
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
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Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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