similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
