I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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