I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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