we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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