I want to make a zoo with you.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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