Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
