you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
