Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So much rum. So many feels.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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