he wants to bone in the snuggie
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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