i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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