his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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