someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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