Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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