honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
