I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
