also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
