I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
