Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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