btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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