just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
