No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
