I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
we're so committed to being not committed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize