I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
