New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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