Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
