Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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