I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your cock deserves a montage
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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