Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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